When Teletubbies Attack: Zelda Style
by Mirai Gensao
Summary: Oh, no. This time the Teletubbies are in Hyrule. How is Link going to handle this? Fourth installment of this series.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned below. And if you think I do, why would I be writing this little work of fiction? I'd be doing something more useful like making a better, less childish Zelda game (the new game looks like it's for a little kid).  
  
Author's Note: This is the fourth installment of when Teletubbies Attack. If you're read any of the others, I hope this one is good too. If you haven't read any others, hope ya like it. Please, please review. No one reviews my stuff and it makes me feel sad…so please review. Okay, so now I sound pathetic. But review anyway. Please??? Okay, I'll stop begging. On with the fic.  
  
  
  
1.1.1 When Teletubbies Attack: Zelda Style  
  
  
  
Ah, Hyrule…such a peaceful place now that the Hero of Time has vanquished the evil Gerudo King known as Ganondorf. But, if you recall, Link was about to go visit Lon Lon Ranch when who should appear but a miniature sled and eight tinny reindeer. Oops, sorry. Still getting used to back to school and the end of Christmas…Anyway, our favorite group of annoying children's icons has invaded Hyrule. *GASP!!* Yes, that's right. They're here now. Let's see how Link's dealing with them, shall we?  
  
"Get away from me, you freaks!"-Link. He runs towards the entrance to the forest.  
  
"Oh, hey Link. Sorry, I can't let you out of the forest."-guy at tunnel  
  
"Why not!?"  
  
"Um…Mido said so."  
  
"Yeah, well I'm seven years older than that loser, so get outta my way."  
  
"Okay." He moves aside and Link sprints through the passage into the field.  
  
Outside, the favorite owl we all have come to know and hate, Kaebora Gaebora, stops to give Link annoying, pointless advice.  
  
"Hoo-hoot!…" Link stops and looks at him. He waits for the owl to say something.  
  
"Well?"-Link  
  
"What?"  
  
"Aren't you gonna give me annoying, pointless advice?"  
  
"Oh, right." *Pulls out script and flips through it* "Sorry. Hoo-hoot! Hero of Time, seek the advice of those who have helped you in the past. Do not be discouraged, even if it looks like there is no way to get rid of those evil beings."  
  
"Hey, that might actually help this time. Thanks!"  
  
All of a sudden, from behind him, the four creatures pop out of the tunnel. They spot Link and begin to run at him with their arms wide open.  
  
"Noooo!" Link quickly pulls out his Ocarina and plays Epona's Song. He puts it away and waits for his horse to run up. All this happens while the Teletubbies inch closer and closer. The closer they get, the more nervous he gets. Finally, Epona runs up and he hops on.  
  
"Let's go!!" She neighs and takes off for Lon Lon Ranch, still determined to reach his original destination. The Teletubbies stop and watch with sadness.  
  
"Aw, we'll never catch him."-Dipsy  
  
"Then we will track him down."-Po  
  
"Oh. That's a good idea, too."  
  
"Of course. Now let's go." The four of them start to walk calmly after Link, not really caring how long it takes for them to find him.  
  
Meanwhile, Zelda is at the castle, being bored as hell. Court life isn't all it's cracked up to be. Anyway, as she sits there and stares at the ceiling, she senses something very strange. She looks…um, she's already looking up, so…she looks shocked. It doesn't feel familiar, but who knows now a days. 'What is that?' She gets up and walks out of the room while her dad doesn't even notice. Sad. She heads out into the hallway and walks down until she comes to some door. She opens it and walks inside.  
  
"I think I lost 'em," Link says aloud to no one in particular. He slows Epona down to a trot and heads into Lon Lon Ranch. Once inside, he dismounts her and looks around. "I wonder if anyone's home." He wanders over to the pasture and on the way, sees Talon. He stops Link to have a little chat.  
  
"Hello there. How're you doin' today, son?"-Talon  
  
"Okay, I guess. I just escaped these four…I don't know what they were. But they're creepy as hell."  
  
"Really? What did they look like?"  
  
"Well, there were four of them. One was green, one was red, one was yellow and the purple one was carrying a little purse. But he sounded like a guy…"  
  
"Hmm…sounds strange."  
  
"I think I lost them, though. I took off on Epona as fast as I could and I doubt they'll find me here."  
  
"Well, besides that, how's life for ya?"  
  
"Pretty good. Kinda boring, but what are you gonna do?"  
  
"I'm glad to here it."  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"Good."  
  
"That's nice."  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
"…"-Link  
  
"…"-Talon. It's quiet for a few more seconds.  
  
"She should be over there with the horses, Link."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Actually, I'm right here." They both turn around and see Malon standing right behind them.  
  
"Oh."-Talon, "I'm wrong."  
  
"Hi."-Link. She turns and smiles at him.  
  
"Hi."-Malon  
  
"Well, I'm gonna be getting' back to work. You see Ingo, tell him he better get himself out here or he'll be sorry."-Talon  
  
"Where's he at?"-Link  
  
"He went to the town for somethin' but he was supposed to be back a while ago."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Don't forget to tell 'em."  
  
"Okay."-Malon. Talon turns and is about to life to leave when some kind of singing is heard. Link freezes.  
  
"It can't be…"-Link. They both look at him.  
  
"What can't be?"-Malon. He doesn't answer. Instead, he listens more closely and when he's sure it's them, he turns back to the two of them.  
  
"No time to explain!" He looks around frantically. "Go inside! We have to hide from them cuz I don't feel like fighting anyone right now!" They stare at him, confused. "The creatures!" Talon knows what he's meaning.  
  
"Why don't you want to fight 'em? Isn't that yer job?"  
  
"Today was supposed to be my day. I had very important things to do."  
  
"What important things?"-Malon. He looks at her.  
  
"Um…nevermind. Anyway, get inside and turn the lights off." Talon opens the door and Link and Malon rush in. He goes in after them. He shuts the door behind him and turns the lights off.  
  
"Get down," Link says, even though it really won't make much of a difference. It's not like there are any windows to peek into or anything.  
  
For a few minutes, they all stay crouched on the floor in the dark, waiting for whatever Link was talking about to show up. When everyone but Link (a whole two people) is getting bored with the whole situation, Talon turns the lights on.  
  
"Turn it off! I know I heard them!"-Link. Talon stands there, about to open the door and look around. Link seems to be getting nervous.  
  
"Just turn them off."-Malon. He sighs and the lights are off once again.  
  
Right after he does that, a few voices are heard outside.  
  
"It is them."-Link. The other voice sounds familiar, though. It says he'll let them in the house to wait for that stupid Ocarina kid if they want. The other unfamiliar voice agrees. "Ingo, please don't do it…" Link says quietly to himself. The doorknob slowly begins to turn and Link is waiting for the inevitable in the corner.  
  
When it's open all the way, Ingo reaches for the lights, but he can't find it.  
  
"Where'd everyone go?" he asks as if the Teletubbies would know. As if they even knew who he was talking about. When he finally stumbles upon the switch, he flicks it on and everyone in the room screams/yells their head off.  
  
"How the frickin' hell did you find me?" Link asks once he has recovered from the little screaming fest.  
  
"Easy. We can track people's energy patterns."-Tinky Winky  
  
"People's what?"-Malon  
  
"Energy…their life-force?…"-La-La  
  
"Oh…that," she says, still not knowing what he's talking about. The Teletubbies turn to Link.  
  
"We're here for you, Hero of Time."-Po  
  
"How did you know I'm the Hero of Time?" he questions, more than a little startled.  
  
"We know everything," Dipsy replies with a grin.  
  
"Can't I ever catch a break?"-Link  
  
"If yer gonna fight, take it outside."-Talon. Everyone heads out and walks over into the pasture. They gather around Link and the Teletubbies.  
  
"What do you want with me?"-Link  
  
"We want to fight."-Po  
  
"Yeah, everyone else thinks we're evil and they vanquished us to some other world every time we tried to play with them."-La-La  
  
"Play? You want to play with me?"  
  
"In a strange and twisted sense of the word, yes."-Dipsy. Link watches them, not knowing quite what to make out of the situation. It's not like he's scared or anything like that, just very confused at these seemingly harmless life forms.  
  
"Well, I guess we can play…" He doesn't sound so sure about this. They all grin while the other three just sit and watch. Ingo is silently hoping Link gets eaten by them or has some other "tragic" thing happen to him. He grins, too.  
  
"Wait a second! That stupid-ass owl told me you were evil!"  
  
"But we're not evil. Just lonely."-Tinky Winky  
  
"He also said the only way to beat you was to have those who have helped me in the past help me out again."  
  
"We just wanna be your friends!"-Dipsy  
  
"I'm sure." He looks at Talon, Malon and Ingo. "I'll be back. I know what I have to do now." With that said, he takes off for the castle after getting on Epona. The Teletubbies shrug and look at their new victims with an expression that can't be put into words. Hurry back, Link.  
  
At the castle, Zelda is in Impa's room, talking with her. Impa sensed the same thing as the princess. What it is, they both do not know. But on thing is for sure: only the Hero of Time can defeat it.  
  
"What do you think it is?"-Zelda  
  
"I'm not sure. It somehow feels…familiar."  
  
"Yeah, it started to feel that way for me too a little bit ago."  
  
Just then, Link bursts in, causing them both to turn and look in his direction.  
  
"Link!"-Zelda, "I'm glad you're here."  
  
"Listen, something very evil is at Lon Lon Ranch right now. They're saying they want to be my friends and fight with me and it's very confusing."  
  
"I've been sensing the evil too, but I have no idea what it could be. For some reason, it feels somehow familiar."  
  
"Really? It isn't familiar to me at all."  
  
"Hm…"  
  
"I think I might know what it is."-Impa. They both look at her with curious expressions.  
  
"What?"-Link  
  
"A long time ago, four evil beings were created by a group of very powerful and intelligent people. They were released and caused much destruction and pain. They were finally sealed up in the form of sweet, innocent children's icons. Eventually, a long, long time later, they were cast on a television show. But now they have escaped and seek to do what they were created for."  
  
"Why would anyone want to purposely make creatures like that?"-Zelda  
  
"No on really knows. Some say it was for fun, some say science and some even say it was a freak accident."  
  
"How scary."-Link  
  
"Yes and in each world they enter, there is only one who can get rid of the problem. That one in this world is you, Link."  
  
"You said get rid of. There's no way to kill them or anything?"-Link  
  
"Not that we know of."  
  
"Great. This was supposed to be my day. I had things to do that were very important and it took me forever to plan it. Now it's ruined."  
  
"What things?"-Zelda  
  
"Nothing. It isn't important now." She looks at him confused. Then he looks at Impa seriously.  
  
"What do I have to do, Impa?"  
  
"I will explain it to both of you. Come here." They come closer and she tells them exactly what is to be done in order to vanquish this evil from this realm.  
  
2 Some time later…  
  
Link, Zelda and Impa set out for the ranch. The other sages have been contacted to let them know that they are once again needed. Once they get to the ranch, Link hops off Epona and runs over to where he left them. Impa and Zelda follow, but find absolutely nothing.  
  
"Where is everyone?"-Zelda  
  
"I don't know."-Link. He looks around for any sign of them, but can't find any.  
  
"Oh my Din, I think they took them."-Link  
  
"Took them where?"-Zelda  
  
"I knew this would happen. Luckily, I know exactly how to find them."-Impa  
  
"You know everything, don't you?"-Link  
  
"No, I don't know how to use the Quadratic Equation to solve for numbers. I always screw up at the end." They both stare at her. "What?"  
  
"Anyway, can you do whatever it is and find them? Something bad might happen if I don't save them and then…Nevermind! But we need to find them."- Link  
  
"Okay. I'll try."-Impa. She closes her eyes and focuses on it. A minute or so later, she opens them again and looks at the other two.  
  
"Well?" Link asks hopefully.  
  
"I know where they are."  
  
"Where?"-Zelda  
  
"…The Sacred Realm."  
  
  
  
Don don don!  
  
2.1 "But how did they get there?"-Zelda  
  
2.2 "Yeah, and how are we supposed to get them back?"-Link  
  
"There seems to be a tear in the Sacred Realm. The creatures found it and have entered with your friends."  
  
"Nooo! This sucks!"-Link  
  
"Impa, what can we do?"-Zelda  
  
"You have to go into the realm and get rid off the Teletubbies."  
  
"Who?"-Both  
  
"The creatures."  
  
"Oh."-Both  
  
"When can I go?"-Link  
  
"I'm coming with you."-Zelda  
  
"No, it-"  
  
"I'm going." He sighs in resignation.  
  
"Fine. But when can we go?"  
  
"In a few minutes, so calm down. We have to gather all the Sages at the Temple of Time."  
  
"But can Saria even leave the forest?"-Link  
  
"She's a Sage. Of course she can."  
  
"Oh. Okay."  
  
"I'll get them together and I'll meet you two there."  
  
"Okay."-Zelda.  
  
Her and Link set off for the temple. Along the way, they have a chat about things.  
  
"Can I talk to you about something?"-Link  
  
"Sure. What is it?"  
  
"Well…It's just people I know have been saying things like…well…"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Well, I don't know."  
  
"What do you mean you don't know?"  
  
"Nevermind. I'll ask you later when this whole crisis is over."  
  
"O-kay…" They continue on to the temple.  
  
They get there and are forced to hang around for a little bit until Impa and the rest of the Sages show up. There's a long awkward pause because of the odd conversation fragment from earlier. Finally, the others get there. Impa explains to everyone what they must do and they all agree. The Sages all get in a circle and hold hands. Link and Zelda get in the middle of the circle. Link pulls out his Ocarina and plays the Song of Time. The Sages all chant a few words in the ancient Hylian language and, in a bright flash of light, Link and Zelda are standing in the Sacred Realm. They look at each other.  
  
"We have to be careful not to run into Ganon or there could be more trouble than we have time for."-Zelda  
  
"Right."-Link. They set off on their search.  
  
Along the way, they look high and low, left and right, but there is still no sign of them. Both are getting frustrated and a little bored.  
  
"Where could they be?"-Link  
  
"I don't know. But I don't remember this place being so big…"-Zelda  
  
"Me neither." They continue on their quest.  
  
Eventually, they stop looking to take a break. They sit down and don't say anything. But someone is approaching from behind them and they are totally unsuspecting.  
  
"Boo!!"  
  
"Aaaahh!!" They both scream and jump up. They spin around to face it.  
  
"Oh, it's you."-Zelda. Link grabs him by his throat and demands he tell them where their friends are.  
  
"*Cough, wheeze*"-La-La  
  
"I don't think he can breathe to answer you."-Zelda. He releases La-La, who begins gasping for air.  
  
"Where are they?"  
  
"They're *gasp* over there." He points behind them. Link and Zelda turn around to face the Teletubbies. In their possession are Talon, Malon and even Ingo. They have all fallen under the Teletubbies spell.  
  
"Let them go now!"-Link  
  
"Nope. You have to play with us first. If you refuse, I will have them attack you. I know you cannot hurt your friends, especially her."-Po  
  
"What do you want me to play?"  
  
"A game."-Tinky Winky  
  
"What kind of game?"  
  
"Don't, Link. Remember what Impa said."-Zelda  
  
"But-"  
  
"We have to go with the plan." He sighs.  
  
"I know." He turns to the Teletubbies. "Will you leave this realm first? I promise I will play out of here."  
  
"That is doable."-Po  
  
"Good." Then in another flash of light, everyone is back in the temple. Everyone looks around.  
  
"All right, Elf Kid. Let's take this outside." Link and the Teletubbies go outside into the field. Everyone else stays behind because Link made them.  
  
Outside, the four creatures gather on one side and Link stands across from them.  
  
"Now, what is the game?"-Link  
  
"You must fight each of us."-Po  
  
"Fine. Is that all?"  
  
"Each one of us will fight separately and no one will help anyone."  
  
"Alright. But I could take all of you at once if I wanted to."  
  
"Oh, really?"-Dipsy  
  
"Yes, really."  
  
"Then let's all fight."-La-la  
  
"Well, if he says he wants to fight all of us, then so be it." All the Teletubbies strike poses. Link pulls out his sword and prepares himself.  
  
Then, all of a sudden, three people fall in from out of nowhere. Link and The Teletubbies tare at them, confused. They get up and brush themselves off.  
  
"Who are you?"-Link. The woman with long pink hair looks at him.  
  
"Hello there. I'm Washu, the greatest scientific genius in the universe!!" She begins to laugh.  
  
"…Well, I'm Son Gohan. And I was interrupted from celebrating again!"  
  
"I'm Sakura."  
  
"I'm Link and these are the evil creatures called the Teletubbies that I've been trying to defeat."  
  
"We know."-Gohan  
  
"You know?"-Link  
  
"We just got rid of them in our world."-Sakura  
  
"So can you help me?"  
  
"Yes, we can."-Washu  
  
"Great. But how?"  
  
"With this." She holds up another remote control. "And the help of the Seven Sages, of course."  
  
"You know about the Sages?"-Link  
  
"That's not important now. You fight them and I'll tell you when."  
  
"Right." Link, Gohan and Sakura turn and strike a pose. The Teletubbies do the same.  
  
Gohan begins a mini-battle with Po and La-La while Sakura has her hands full with Tinky Winky. Link is fighting with the remaining member, Dipsy. Each one is having a hard time with each 'Tubby, but they aren't even trying yet. When they finally begin to fight using their real power, the Teletubbies are quickly overcome by their strength. One by one, they are slowly knocked unconscious. When they are all lying pathetically on the floor, Washu tells them it is time. Link closes his eyes and begins to concentrate. 'Impa? Can you hear me? It's Link. We've managed to knock them all out. Now it's up to you guys.'  
  
No sooner is that said than a portal opens up. The Teletubbies all wake up in time to realize they are being sucked into another portal.  
  
"Nooo! Not again!"-Dipsy  
  
"This is like the fourth time we've been sent away!"-Tinky Winky  
  
"How come no one likes us?"-La-La  
  
"Rest assured, Hero of Time. We will find a way to return. And when we do, you will wish you had just let us win."-Po. With that, they are completely pulled in and it closes. Link sighs in relief, then looks at the others.  
  
"Thanks for your help. I don't know if I could have done it without you, even though I just met you guys…Anyway, thanks."  
  
"No problem."-Washu  
  
"Yeah, it was a good opportunity for me to transform more cards."-Sakura  
  
"And for me to show off my skills."-Gohan. "Wait. Did I say that out loud?"  
  
"We have to be going now. Bye!"-Washu  
  
"Bye!"-Sakura and Gohan  
  
"Bye!"-Link. They all wave, then disappear. Link watches for a moment, then remembers his friends.  
  
"I have to make sure they're okay and out of the trance!" He takes off into the town.  
  
Once he makes it to the temple, he dashes in and finds everyone back to normal. He sighs in relief and they all gather around to hug and congratulate him.  
  
"You did it."-Zelda  
  
"That was great, Brother."-Darunia  
  
"You did well, kid."-Nabooru  
  
"Thanks, everyone."  
  
They go on congratulating him for a while. When they are finally done, all the Sages return home, Zelda goes back to the castle with Impa and Malon and Talon head back to their ranch. Link goes with them because he doesn't want to go home yet.  
  
Once there, Talon decides to make dinner. Yup, that's right. He can cook. So Link and Malon go outside to do whatever until Talon calls them in for dinner. For a while, there's a huge, long awkward pause. Link finally decides to make conversation.  
  
"Well, today was definitely interesting."-Link  
  
"Do you think it was it more interesting than what you had planned?"-Malon  
  
"No, that would have been better."  
  
"What did you have planned, anyway?"  
  
"Oh, it's nothing really. I can always do it again some other day. I'm sure tomorrow will work just fine." He looks up at the sky. She looks at him curiously, then she looks up too.  
  
For a few moments, it's quiet like that. Well, until Talon calls them both. It's kind of hard to not hear him. Link stands up and helps her up.  
  
"Come on."-Link. They both go back inside.  
  
  
  
But meanwhile, in the Sacred Realm, a certain someone has found the tear in the realm. He grins mischievously to himself. 'My day will come…yes, my day will come soon enough…'  
  
  
  
3 In the next alternate world…  
  
3.1 "What kind of Pokemon are those?"-Ash  
  
"I don't think those are Pokemon, Ash."-Brock  
  
"Then what are they?"-Misty  
  
"We're…The Teletubbies!!"  
  
"Nooooooo!!!"-Ash, Misty, Brock and Team Rocket from out of nowhere. They all run away and the Teletubbies begin to chase after them.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
How was it? Please tell me cuz even my friend didn't review. But then again, she couldn't find it to review…Anyway, tell me what you think. And tell me if it's just getting old by now. Lates. 


End file.
